The United States of Awareness

THE UNITED STATES OF AWARENSS

CHAPTER 10 FROM THE BOOK, “ROBIN’S SONG, TREASURE YOUR SOUL’S WISDOM”

The day I was discharged from the hospital, I knew I had a kidney infection, but it didn’t yet show on tests. Three days later I was readmitted to the hospital, severely ill with a kidney infection. Why, I wondered, didn’t they just kill me and get it over with?

Once in the hospital room, I fell asleep, only to be awakened by the awareness that my bed was trembling. How strange. We don’t get earthquakes in this state. I looked around the room; no one else’s bed was shaking. Was I trembling? No, it was the bed. Was someone trying to talk to me? Abruptly, my connection to the world shut off and I was standing in a mist, looking at a house full of people a short distance from where I stood. I noticed one woman standing in front of the house with her back to me. I intuitively knew her; she reminded me of my mother and sister, only squatter. Her hair was thick, wavy, and dark brown. Her gauze-like white gown made her seem surrealistic in the foggy atmosphere. She turned and faced me with a penetrating ray of attention, and flowed towards me.

“I am your great-grandmother. Like you, I had twins and one died.”

I realized I was carrying my tiny calcified baby Sarah. As soon as I realized it, the precious blue-eyed Sarah appeared in my great grandmother’s arms. Grandmother continued, “Robin, you have been fulfilling your sacred contract well. You will begin to remember it. You have endured all that has happened to you for a reason. Every since your first near-death experience at the river, you have been open to and obeying your inner guidance to the best of your human ability. Just as a little baby needs to crawl before it can walk, so must the new breed of humans learn how to manage and utilize their psychic abilities.

Would you be angry with a baby for falling as it learned to walk? Do not chastise yourself or your world for its mistakes. We on this side are very pleased with what you have done for us. Continue on your path and know your spiritual family is with you. Because you have been who you are, the message will be brought to the world through your story. The traumas you have been through will demonstrate the full spectrum of emotions one must cope with in order to find the divine passageway. As one clears the slate of emotions, one is more able to discern the clarity of their intuition. You are needed on the planet after the twins.

“For now, don’t clutter your mind with questions you cannot answer. Simply trust that the most important task that you have is to share the process you have endured. Know that Sarah’s purpose in your life was to teach you to have unequivocal trust in your intuition. Have Absolute Faith and Absolute Will. Know that your purpose is for you to deliver the message of your wisdom to people on your planet who will listen. Mothers will heed your call. They will walk in your soul and identify with your journey. This will enable them to overcome their sense of victimization and see the rhythm of life.

“You must return now. You cannot remain here much longer or you won’t be able to go back. To know that this really happened, ask someone to look inside my desk and find the old family Bible. Inside will be a poem I wrote about Christianity. This will be your proof that I did, indeed, have this conversation with you.”

I tried to argue. “I don’t want to go back! Please, Grandmother! I want to stay here with Sarah.”

“No, Robin.” She was curt. “You must go back. But first, I must teach you to christen the babies. You must pass on this method to all mothers so they can remember the true role of parenting.

“The true meaning of Christianity is to live one’s soul purpose according to universal law. By the act of christening, one is ‘asking’ and so shall receive the experience of a soul-driven life.’ The true mother is the soul. The soul creates a human form through a physical vessel that humans call the ‘mother.’ The soul chooses to create a human form so it can learn through the qualities of the subconscious mind – the senses of awareness, intuition, touch, smell, hearing, taste, and sight.

“The true father is universal law – laws which govern all life forms, whether one believes in them or not. For example, whether or not one believes in gravity does not affect its presence and impact on one’s life. When the mother, the soul, unites with the father, universal law, the energies get expressed out through the ‘third eye,’ the place of vision, the place where perception lives. Our subconscious minds receive information through our senses according to our perception. Through the Law of Attraction, our perceptions govern our life experiences.

“The act of christening is to declare the intention that one is choosing to live consciously according to these ancient laws. When we do not claim our perception through the act of christening, we become vulnerable to energies that are not our soul’s own.”

As she spoke, I was sitting in a meadow with my beloved first daughter Daisy in my arms, the one I had aborted as a teenager. My grandmother said, “Robin, there are two ways to christen your babies. You either say, ‘In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I christen you Daisy,’ or you can say, ‘In the name of the All-Conscious Sun, the Sacred Moon, and Mother Earth, I christen you Daisy.’ Robin, ask Daisy which way she wants to be christened and tell me what you hear.”

As I gazed deeply into Daisy’s brown eyes, I heard her say she wanted to be christened the second way. Grandmother said, “Look her right in the eyes, Robin, and repeat after me: In the name of the All-Conscious Sun…”

I repeated, “In the name of the All Conscious Sun . . .”
“And the Sacred Moon . . .”
“And the Sacred Moon . . .”
“And Mother Earth . . .”
“And Mother Earth . . .”

Grandmother commanded with authority, “I christen you Daisy.”

“I christen you Daisy.”

I felt such deep joy and relief. I could feel the wind as little Daisy found her way back to her next highest vibration. Grandmother asked, “Robin, can you tell me why Daisy came into your life?”

“She came to teach me I was to take womanhood and motherhood matters very seriously. She came to remind me of my soul purpose: to restore the lineage of mothers Jesus referred to when he spoke to me on the day I drowned. She also told me that her life would continue in another form at another time.”

My grandmother said, “Daisy wants you to forgive yourself. You simply had an experience with her. You did not make a mistake. Experiences are to be learned from. That was your agreement.”

“Grandmother, is she saying that she chose me as her mother?”

“Yes.”

“Why, when she knew I would abort her?”

“To teach you that no matter how long a soul is present in a body, it has a purpose. Many women are aborting and miscarrying babies and they have not been graced with the divine knowing of this sacred exchange. You, Robin, must teach them. You will help women remember their knowing again.”

My grandmother said that Eva was ready now to be christened. I said, “I can do it on my own,” and I tenderly christened her in the same reverent manner: “In the name of the All-Conscious Sun, the Sacred Moon, and Mother Earth, I christen you Eva.”

I felt the same euphoric joy as Eva’s soul purpose was acknowledged. I heard her say, “I came into your life to teach you that you are precognitive, a baby spirit medium, and a medical intuitive, especially for infants. Use your abilities to help mothers remember the sacred rites of motherhood, their ability to telepathically communicate with their children, and to trust their mother’s intuition. I give you this prayer to share with them:

Our Mother
Who Art in Our Hearts
Hallowed be Thy breath
Repudiate this day
Any energies that are not of our own
Allow us to know and trust our own knowing
And have the biological courage to act upon it.”

And then it was Sarah’s turn. As I christened her, she claimed her soul’s purpose, “I came to build a bridge between alternative medicine and traditional medicines.”

Then I saw myself holding myself as a newborn in my own arms. As I tenderly gazed into my own brown eyes and felt the weight of my own body, I asked myself how I wanted to be christened. “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I christen myself Robin.”

My soul spoke, “The true meaning of Jesus Christ dying on the cross is this: to surrender with grace to your soul’s purpose and to live in alignment with universal law. Jesus was demonstrating his obedience to his soul’s purpose when he was willing to die to fulfill it. When the soul obeys universal law, no matter what happens in your life, the soul purpose is fulfilled. Your soul purpose, Robin, is to teach this. The sign of the cross is the path to inner peace. Inner peace is the path to global peace. When children are taught this, they remember to be future teachers of peace. This is the way to create peace for all people in all lands for all time.”

I began to feel myself leaving these sacred females. I tried to will myself to stay with them, but I was told I had to go back to earth. I could not escape my sacred contract by staying in the blissful, luxurious comfort of love. Abruptly, my great-grandmother, Sarah, Eva, and Daisy were gone. The fog-like texture was gone. I was standing alone in a huge green field, under a blazing noonday sun in a blue sky with white clouds. The warmth was delicious. Then I was on a small tractor on a dirt road, winding through the limitless horizon. Information was being filtered into my higher self, but I could not “hear” the messages. I was told I would know the information when the time was right. As I meandered on my tractor in the hot sun, I began to perceive the meaning of life and death in a new way: I could see the continuity, the flow of interwoven lives in this dimension and others, my misunderstood “imagination,” the “crazy lady” syndrome.

I had entered this lifetime with a purpose.

We all do.

Obviously, there was a master plan, some sort of eternal blueprint, and there was a panel of spiritual beings determining how it was being read. There was a connection to a spiritual family. We were reborn, time and time again, here and in other places, to assist others and ourselves on our sacred mission of soul redemption. There was an invisible network between what we all perceived as “normal” and that which most of us never gave any credence as existing. My dreams did not come from some evil part of me.

I watched as a wispy white flow of energy got sucked back into my body through my solar plexus.

When I came to, my sister Julie was by my side. From that moment on, my sister became my earth angel. She stayed with me in the hospital for the next three days. I told her and my mother about my “dream.” Mom said I had described her grandmother’s looks and personality just as they had been when she was alive. It was true she had had twins and one died. She had not told me about my great-grandmother’s twins so I wouldn’t think that it ran in the family. She knew, as I didn’t, that there was a family Bible and that Grandmother did have her own favorite desk.

My mother called my great uncle and asked him to look in the family Bible in Grandmother’s desk. He was skeptical, as he had searched it years ago when she had died. To placate my mother, he did look again and found the poem. My mother drove to his house to get it and read it to me over the phone. This is what my Grandmother wrote:

A RAILROAD MAN’S PRAYER

An old railroad employee was converted at a meeting and was asked to lead in prayer. He hesitated a moment, then with a trembling but clear resounding voice he said reverently, “Oh, Lord now that I have flagged Thee; lift up my feet from the rough road of life and plant them safely on the deck of the train of salvation. Let me use the safety lamps known as prudence and all the couplings in the train with the link of love and my hand to be the Bible and, Heavenly Father, keep all switches closed that lead off on the sidings, especially those with a blind end.

Oh Lord, if it be Thy pleasure, have every semahose block along the line the white light of hope that I may make the run of life without stopping, and, Lord, give us the Ten Commandments for the schedule; and when I have finished on scheduled time and pulled into the dark station of death, may the Superintendent of the Universe say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Come and sign the payroll and receive your check for Eternal Happiness.”

My sister and I wondered why we had never known about twins running in our family, so Mom produced a worn document with dates on it as far back as 1656. The genealogy included the names of John Adams and John Quincy Adams. My sister gasped, “Mom, we’re related to presidents?”

She said, “Not that I know of.”

I had her get out the dictionary, and showed her the names of the presidents that matched the ones in our genealogy. She had never known. My sister and I were dumbfounded that we grew up not knowing this.

“Mom,” I said, “I’m going to be a leader also – a leader of the United States of Awareness! I will teach that our basic innate goodness cannot be destroyed, no matter what happens in our lives. I will teach what it is like to survive the loss of twins.” I was overwhelmed with a sense of purpose.

The experience of seeing my deceased grandmother taught me to trust my own knowing.

I had awakened my gifts when I almost drowned as a child, and now, as a young mother who had lost three children, I could no longer deny the reality that I was psychic. If I had not been filled with religious guilt and fear about listening to my own inner guidance, I would not have been afraid to take action based on my inner wisdom. I was very grateful for the revelation I received. I had learned never to bow to any authority other than myself. My sister said my therapist was right – by submitting to being raped, I could start a revolution. I treasured my soul’s wisdom.

I had found my boundaries and my free will. It is the place within us that recognizes our sacred center and knows that it is the Hub of the Wheel of all our choices.

Julie, the traveling art teacher, just happened to have art supplies with her. We drew a big circle on a large piece of paper. Then she made a little circle in the middle of the big circle. As she wrote, “motherhood without martyrdom” on the inside circle, she said, “You know I don’t believe in past lives.”
“Okay, don’t,” I said.

Our mother re-entered the room with a basket of laundry and we invited her to join us. Of course, she had to finish folding and putting away the laundry first. “Mom, we are rewriting the new ‘codes of women’ for our family. Can’t the laundry wait?”

“In a minute,” she said.

Inside our circle my sister and I industriously wrote with magic markers the codes of conduct for the revolution. The codes inside the sacred circle were the LAWS:
 Obey the Golden Rule to treat others as you yourself would like to be treated.
 Understand and support Global Sisterhood, even if it is a simple thought every day that unites us with the intention of creating a safer world for mothers and children.
 Every decision you make is a chance to awaken or oppress yourself.
 Know your own boundaries, and assertively defend them.
 Express your authentic self as an example of self-acceptance. Self-acceptance also creates an environment for other women to be themselves.
 Make people earn your trust and your loyalty.
 Know and set the terms of your relationships.
 Know and admit when you need to leave a dysfunctional relationship.
 Do not let a difficult past inhibit you from being your own personal best each day.
 Admit your vulnerabilities and do not be afraid to ask for help.
 Go through every experience with the attitude that you will come out stronger on the other side.
 Choose your own role models; don’t blindly do what your mother did.
 Demand to be respected.
 Learn from your mistakes.

Mom finished the laundry, ate her nighttime snack, and was ready to head off to bed, but we asked her to pray with us. She quickly perched on the end of the couch, dropped her head, pressed her hands together in the prayer position, and said, “I pray that I will always do right by my family.” Mom looked up, “You know, girls, I’ve prayed that same prayer every night of my life, right after my sandwich spread and peanut butter sandwich.”

My sister said a prayer that I would find a way to recover from my seemingly cursed life and that I would find a way to feel blessed with my metaphysical gifts. As she prayed, I knew that if I wasn’t aware of my power to make conscious choices, then I would be vulnerable to the experience of being raped again. I realized there was no difference between psychic rape and physical rape. The same way I would buckle my kids’ seatbelts in the car to keep them safe, I would teach them to think for themselves, to listen for and follow their own souls’ guidance.

When they went to bed, I got out the dictionary. I discovered the Latin root of the word psychic means “of the soul.” Being psychic means listening to your own soul’s guidance! If we aren’t leading our lives from our own inner knowing, then we become sitting ducks for indoctrination by other people. I would no longer prostitute myself for others’ inane belief systems. Not me. Not my babies. It was time to buck the status quo. I had never been crazy; I had merely perceived the insanity of the world around me. I claimed right then the legacy of joy of being the Light that I came to be!

Clearly my grandmother’s “railroad man” poem was a sign from heaven. In spite of all the heartache and hardships, I had learned. Sarah’s purpose was to teach me to trust my intuition – the part of me I had considered vile and possibly evil, the part of me that was not recognized by the world around me, the part that was my most sacred contact with the divine.

God had not abandoned me. I had cast that judgment on myself because of what I had been taught by humans. Now that I knew I was a loved member of a spiritual lineage, I felt it was up to me to share with others what I had learned. No matter who you are, no matter what your religious or personal beliefs, you have a purpose for being alive.

I needed to believe my suffering had purpose as I coped with my difficult post-surgery complications, belated post-partum blues, the rape and impending court date, an emotionally devastating marriage, and the lost time with my two precious children as I mourned for my other lost children. As this newly empowered female emerged, Peter and I separated for the last time. I was no longer my mother’s daughter, my husband’s wife, or my church’s disciple; I was ME. I chose ME.

To read the whole book please accept my gift to you.

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Today is the 27th anniversary of my 3rd near death experience. Enjoy why Prime Creator Force some call God kept me alive.