The Metaphysical Mother Robin Alexis responds to Bristol Palin's People magazine cover
One day in 1972 when I was 16 my mother walked into my bedroom and said in a matter-of-fact tone, “I counted the sanitary pads. You haven’t been using them. I wondered if you might be pregnant.” Simple as that. And here I thought she was completely unaware of my sexuality. The month before when I had asked her for help with birth control she retorted, "Oh, you are too young for sex."
She put her name on my urine sample and took it into the local hospital for testing. After all, she had to protect my Christian reputation. When the test came back positive, my mother made an appointment for me with her doctor and they both lectured me on my lack of morals. Both suggested strongly that I get an abortion as soon as possible. I felt that they were both communicating to me that it was totally ludicrous for me to even consider keeping the baby. Babies ruin a woman’s life. Do you want to live in poverty with your child?
To my mother, I was lucky to be a woman when Roe vs Wade was legal. I could have a safe and legal abortion. I did not have to be a victim of biology. I could chose to have a child when I was ready to become a mother. I could keep my reputation in the small town we lived in. I would not have to try to raise a child single-handedly or marry someone for the wrong reasons in bad timing. And on and on and on…
One of my mother’s friends was a nurse in New York, the only state that had legalized abortions at that time. My mother made my boyfriend and I each pay half. My mother made my boyfriend swear that he would never ruin my reputation by telling anyone our secret. Mom and I left the house after Dad had gone to work. She deceived my dad, who would never have allowed me to have an abortion, even though caring for the child would have fallen on my mother’s and my shoulders. She knew her limitations. She was willing to lie to my father and make me do the same. He would simply have to forgive us.
No one at the abortion clinic discussed the abortion with me, explained the procedure, or counseled me in any way. So this is what it felt like to be a woman in our society – degrading. Females of all ages sat in the waiting room, all of us in submission to the invisible ruling that having babies interfered with capitalism. I was amazed and appalled at the barbaric treatment I was being given in the middle of the supposed “women’s movement.” When my name was called out, I did what I was told. This was my first experience with my legs parted, in stirrups, lying on a cold examination table under bright lights. As my mother would often say to me, "For shame, for shame, for shame, for shame, for shame....." Now I knew what she was talking about.
During the long silent ride back home, I felt that I had just murdered a child. When my mother and I arrived home, she immediately went back to work. Dad was at work. Completely ashamed, I searched my father’s closet for his gun and bullets. Luckily, I didn’t find them. Instead, I went for a long walk. I vowed to myself,
"I will never treat another human being like I had been treated. I will not condemn anyone for having healthy sexual urges, no matter what their age. I will never sacrifice my sexuality or my children again. I will become responsible with birth control. When I have children, I will raise them to be aware and responsible for their sexuality. Life should be judged on what one does with it, not how it begins."
In my 16 year old reasoning abortion was wrong. I felt betrayed by a society that would not teach me proper care of my sexual self. I resented the Christian mother that required me to live lies in order to be accepted into its family. I hoped my baby’s soul went to heaven; I doubted that mine ever would. I prayed and asked God to forgive me as I ended my self-righteous walk. I also ended my relationship with my boyfriend.
Since no one knew about my bout with immorality, at school I was still the shining golden girl – the All-American image of the perfect teenager. In my heart I was a failure in my relationship with God, and as a woman I felt betrayed by the Church’s doctrine. Was there a religion that would feel right to me? Was that an evil thought? I began to pray incessantly, asking God to use me as a vessel for His work.
I then read in a newspaper about a program called Family Planning. I knew there wasn’t a chapter in my own small town. I wrote letters and attended meetings to let people know that I believed this service needed to be provided in my area. The lobbying attempts were successful and I was present when we cut the ribbons to the new office in our town.
At the end of my junior year I was chosen to represent our high school at the Granite Girls State conference, a conference that encouraged young women to become involved with politics. All my volunteering had not gone unnoticed.
One night at the conference, after everyone had gone to sleep, I was in the bathroom crying, unable to sleep with the ache of my conscience haunting me. I lay on the cold bathroom floor and pretended to hold my baby. I imagined its little body resting in my arms. I heard her say to me that her name was Daisy, and she would reincarnate in another body. She said that I didn’t really murder her.
I was terrified to hear her voice in my ears. God was punishing me! I ran from the bathroom and crawled back into bed. Today I am 54, out of bed and writing from my Mother's Heart. I have gained much wisdom since I was that young misguided teenager. Today I am the Metaphysical Mother. If you need help coping with post abortion blues or any other mothering issues, I am here for you. Please visit my web site www.metaphysicalmothering.com.
Here are 100 Ways to Know You are a Metaphysical Mother;
- You realize the creation of a body is not the sole purpose of pregnancy.
- You understand that pregnancy is an opportunity for a soul to create through you the ‘body vehicle’ that it needs to forge its way back to the awareness Source.
- You know that the eternal soul is creating from the accumulations of all of its past life experiences.
- You appreciate that each body created in each lifetime with its essential seven senses for the soul’s enlightenment is being created through you. You are the temple for this divine experience to occur.
- You know this soul intends to return to Mother Earth and has selected you as the physical vehicle for the best and highest potential for the fulfillment of its soul’s purpose on earth at this time.
- You understand that the body and soul select a spirit of supreme value for its purpose of Being.
- Your baby’s body and spirit have a connection to its own Higher Self and so do you. If you remember this, then your child will remember this. Each action both of you take will be based on reconnecting with the Divine. In your remembrance of this, your higher self will begin to have telepathic communication with your unborn child’s Higher Self.
- You believe that spiritual development or connection to this remembrance is achieved through your own inner knowing.
- You are aware that your emotions and actions feed your child’s soul and cellular memory.
- Before you become pregnant, you make sure that you value your own independence and are responsible. Do not be dependent on someone else. Know that you are enough.
- You are able to grow and generate your own strength and happiness. From this, good relationships can develop. You will then enjoy the process of having your own children.
- When the going gets tough, you know that “this too shall pass.”
- You make a list of your strengths and weaknesses regarding parenting. Let go of the shame and guilt over weaknesses and then work around them.
- You know the way to connect to this remembrance is through the senses and sensuality. You understand that your feelings and your senses are the gateway to your spirituality.
- Your goal is to have an open heart and your seven major chakras are open and balanced.
- Your personal path to motherhood engages inner preparation, introspection, and transformation.
- You are not afraid of physical death. You know that your body will die, but your spirit won’t.
- You acknowledge that your child has his or her own soul purpose. If your child’s soul purpose is achieved quickly, the body will leave, but do not feel you have failed as a mother. Acknowledge the presence of your child in your life, no matter how brief the encounter.
- You understand that your job as a parent is to guide your children to fulfill their purpose.
- You recognize that the merit of your child’s soul is the goal of consciousness.
- You know that raising consciousness through conscious parenting gives you a strong global political voice.
- You recognize that you have two ears and one mouth, so you will listen twice as much as you talk.
- You develop your attention to subtle perception, so that you can have telepathic communication with your child.
- You orient your senses, emotions, and intelligences to the sacredness of the Divine. You know that the only sin is to forget to do that.
- You do not betray your true self by desiring to be that which you are not.
- You observe the pattern of cause and effect in your life and take responsibility for all that happens.
- You know and teach your children that they are not victims, although they may be victimized.
- You know that every experience is a learning experience for yourself and others.
- You stop accusing yourself and others of making mistakes, but rather choose to “grow or go.”
- You know that “ turning the other cheek” means to engage in not seeing evil, hearing evil, or speaking evil. JUST MOVE ON. Unless, of course, it is your soul’s purpose to engage and teach. Know when to pick your battles. Are they serving your ego or the Divine Plan?
- If you are not comfortable in a situation, you listen to your body and speak up instead of harboring resentment. Be part of the solution, not the problem.
- You know that you are the sum result of your attitudes and actions. You always ask yourself, “Is the choice I am making bringing me closer to the Divine?”
- You never preach any sort of belief system.
- You create harmony in your life by being in a loving and conscious relationship with divine self.
- You know that to harmonize with your own body, heart, and mind is the first step to that experience.
- You know that all psychic and bodily suffering is a lack of harmony with human nature, your divine nature, and the nature elements.
- You know that conversion means the return to ‘what is’ with nature, not against it. You know you are to be with nature, and respect it.
- You desire to experience wholeness for yourself and your child and you are a role model to this way of balance.
- You are content with giving and receiving, not exploiting and producing.
- You know the purpose of the universe is the production of love.
- You teach your children that when they pass over, the love they experience transcends death. Help them see love as the goal.
- You create time for yourself. Just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t rest.
- You honor your parents just as they are, even if you do not love your mother and father. Make a decision not to live in your inner child’s projections. Just see your parents as they truly are and let it go with a ritual conducted by yourself or with friends.
- After making peace with your perception of your parents, determine your own parenting goals. Create a mission statement for parenting. Type it, print it, and frame it!
- You do not raise your children from your accumulated memories. Teach your children to connect with the laws that Mother/Father, God /Goddess taught you about Universal laws.
- You do not allow your mental associations from the past, in this lifetime or others, to carve your relationship with your children.
- You know that the time to clear your children’s path to their divinity begins prior to conception, during gestation, and in the first three years of their life. Therefore, clear your own genetic codes before pregnancy, so you don’t pass them down in the pregnancy process itself.
- You say a prayer to clear out any soul karma by releasing past lives with your child. This way any lingering drama and trauma from other lifetimes doesn’t interfere with the alchemy of what you two can create in this present time/space continuum.
- You consciously request that all vows and contracts from other lifetimes be null and void. Intend that your relationship be based on unconditional love and true healing.
- You make certain that you and your partner invite this sacred soul into your hearts and homes. Acknowledge the significance of what is really taking place.
- You think about what kind of environment you intend to create for the conception to occur. What sights, smells, feelings, tastes, and sounds do you want the moment to be nourished by?
- You spend a minimum of sixteen seconds a day imagining and passionately feeling what it will feel like in that moment when your child’s soul contract and you become one.
- You make parental decisions in total innocence that was created from this pure, strong and delicious moment of intimacy, rather than from the wounded child within you. The blueprint of your child’s destiny has been created. You create a symbol of this sacred moment and give it to your child when they are born to remind them of your commitment to serve their Higher Purpose for being on the planet.
- You teach your children that the energy behind their decisions will determine the outcomes of their decisions.
- You don’t buy your child’s cooperation, unless you acknowledge that you are truly doing this.
- You teach your child about other family structures, cultures, and traditions.
- You teach your child about marketing and materialism.
- You teach your children to think and feel. That is their birthright.
- Every night, you have your children thank their hearts for beating and see their bodies as their best friends.
- You do not force your child to love. Awaken love in them by creating a desire in them to experience love.
- You know that the love your children experience with you is how they will perceive the God/Goddess. Your child will have the memory of your love and they will recall the deep love of the God/Goddess and then they will learn to love themselves
- A child that loves itself, respects itself. A child that respects itself is compassionate and respectful of others.
- From this platform, you build a strong inner self, a strong individual, and strong relationships based on love. We build families and communities and countries of loving individuals – one loving parent at a time. It really is that simple.
- You make today your proudest moment of parenting.
- You love the opportunities that problems offer for you to teach your child a way of Being.
- You imagine your child all grown up, self-sufficient, and self-disciplined.
- You be what you want your child to be. Lead by inspiration.
- You don’t have unprotected sex with a man with whom you are not willing to raise a child.
- You practice the ritual of cleansing your sexual energy field after having recreational sex.
- You realize that your baby’s soul has chosen you and your partner to be his or her parents. You realize that you have agreed to be chosen.
- Your priority is to maximize the opportunity for your child’s soul to grow.
- You do not give your parenting power away to those with “credentials.”
- You validate your mother’s intuition.
- You choose to be a vehicle for the best and highest good for all, including yourself.
- You know that being a martyr is an antiquated parenting style.
- You teach your child to say yes to joy. You observe what gives them joy and reward that choice for them.
- You teach your children to become stewards of the earth.
- You teach your children that sometimes the most productive thing they can do is nothing.
- You wouldn’t think of conceiving a child if you are smoking or drinking.
- You don’t make fun of your child’s perceptions of things.
- You don’t let teachers and/or schools destroy your child’s connection to the unseen world.
- You teach the power of Universal Law, the Power of Intention and the Law of Attraction.
- You teach wonder and love of learning.
- You read, read, and read some more to your child.
- You make messes with your child.
- You vacation and teach relaxation skills.
- You sing with your children.
- You don’t hate their father, no matter what. You don’t destroy a potential relationship with their father.
- You teach that love is not gender, race or culturally based.
- You pace your teaching so your child is not overwhelmed.
- You actively bless food and call in abundance as our divine birthright.
- You love and adore the gift of free will.
- You know poverty and hatred have no power over the power of LOVE.
- You teach your child about their chakras.
95. You teach your child that not living up to their Divine Potential will make them ill.
96. You teach your child to persevere.
97. You apply the law of Quantum Physics, which states that if 51% of any energy is dominant that the rest of the energy will follow suit.
98. You teach your children that their thoughts, feelings, and actions have an impact on themselves and the well being of others.
99. You know you have achieved your parenting goal when your child has the self-confidence and courage to be his or her authentic self.
- You teach your child that living in joy is giving back to God.
A Message from Archangel Gabriel
There is a force in the universe more powerful than hatred.
Appreciate your mother.
Think about how you were born.
It is time to rebirth yourself.
Give yourself permission to experience the feeling of balance.
Make your own way.
Know your own heart.
Put your hands over your beating heart right now and thank it.
Put your ears to the chest of a loved one as soon as you can.
Begin now to appreciate.
The Metaphysical Mother
Founder of Metaphysical Mothering